Tibet, nestled in the heart of Asia northeast of the Himalayan Mountains, is remote and has been relatively cut off from the world and thus the ancient Buddhist culture has remained relatively unaltered and untouched until recently. Now exposed and in conflict with China, Tibet is struggling to preserve its culture and people. Thus, many Tibetans, including the Dalai Lama, live in exile in India.

 

Since the majority of Tibetans are Buddhist, Tibetan culture, government and way of life are intertwined with Tibetan Buddhism (which varies a little from Chinese Buddhism). Thus, gift giving is part of their Buddhist philosophy and way of life.

 

To get a glimpse of a culture that is so different from our own, we talked to Lobsang Wangdu and his wife, Yolanda O'Bannon who run a Tibetan culture website called YoWangdu. Wangdu is from Tibet and both husband and wife are dedicated to the preservation of the Tibetan culture.

 

Gift Wrap and Presentation: Gifts are often not wrapped and are simply presented to the recipient.

 

Etiquette: Gifts are given and accepted with both hands.

 

Never refuse a gift from a Tibetan, nothing is more offensive.

 

Go to Gifts: Tibetans abundantly gift white silk scarves called khata to friends and family who are arriving or leaving. They symbolize good luck. Often times, Tibetans won't leave home without an extra scarf in case they run in to a close friend on the street. Khata are also gifted to Buddha statues when they go to temple. Wangdu added “we also give them as a sign of respect to monks and nuns, and especially lamas. Sometimes, lamas will give the scarf back to us, and it will be considered blessed. The scarves often have the Buddhist 8 auspicious symbols on them.”

 

Wangdu informed us that other common gifts are “Money and practical things, often food, like butter or cheese (both from the female of the yak species, called the dri), or fruit.”

 

Taboo Gifts: Money is a great gift but is never given in even amounts. Wangdu explained that “the idea is that the odd amount is sort of open, so that we can give more next time.

 

Gifts to the World: Tibetan Buddhists believe that it's their duty to send out chants and prayers to the world multiple times a day. These prayers are filled with wishes of love and compassion for the world.

 

One way that the Tibetan Buddhists send prayers to the world are through prayer wheels. These are spinning columns with scripture on them placed all over towns, and anyone can spin them as they walk by. It's believed that one spin of the prayer wheels sends the entire prayer out into the world.

 

The same theory holds true with the Tibetan prayer flags. Every time they flap in the wind, they are sending out prayers. This way, hundreds of thousands of prayers can be sent to the world for peace and compassion.

 

Giving Thanks for a Gift: In Tibet, thank you is expressed right away: “thuk je che.” Cards and thank you gifts are not part of the culture.

 

Gift Giving Occasions: Since the majority of Tibetans are Buddhist, many gift giving occasions coincide with Buddhist holidays.

 

*Hostess Gift: Tibetans never go to someone's house without a hostess gift. If visiting someone they haven't seen in a while, they will often bring a basket full of gifts. One gift that is always a constant is butter tea (brewed tea with salted butter). A flask of this is shared immediately and it is customary to drink two cups.

 

After chatting and consuming butter tea, the hostess will accept some of the gifts from the basket but not all as this would be considered rude. The hostess then places gifts, usually food items, in the basket for the visitor to take home with them.

 

* Birthday: Birthdays aren't a traditional part of the Tibetan culture. Some families celebrate, though not very elaborately and other families don't know their birthday. Also, when a Tibetan is born they automatically consider themselves 1 year old, so they are automatically a numeric year older than we are in the states.

 

Though many Tibetans don't celebrate their own birthday, July 6 is the 14th Dalai Lamas birthday and this is a day of celebration. For those who are in exile (primarily in India), celebration comes easy and is full of prayers and gifts for the Dalai Lama.

 

For the Tibetans still in Tibet, they have to sneak away and privately honor their leader's birthday as China has banned any worshipping and the possession of any images of the Dalai Lama.

 

*Losar: Losar is the Tibetan New Year and is considered the most significant holiday. It falls on the first day of the Tibetan calendar which differs from our calendar making Losar fall anywhere from January to March.

 

Gifts on this occasion are in the form of offerings. These gifts include tea, desserts and flowers and are placed on an altar. The gift of food represents the wish that all beings live without hunger. The purpose of these offerings is to increase the feeling of generosity and reduce the feeling of stinginess.

 

Offerings stay on the altar for 15 days and are then composted or thrown away.

 

* Weddings: Wangdu explained that wedding gifts are primarily “money and khatas. The bride and groom receive hundreds of khatas from the guests, so many that their family members have to help take some off during the ceremony.”

 

*Saka Dawa: On this day, Buddha Shakyamuni attained enlightenment, death and entry into Nirvana. Saka Dawa lasts a full month and takes place during the 4th month on the Tibetan calendar which means it takes place during our summer months.

 

It's believed that one's good deeds are multiplied during this month so Tibetans give gifts to beggars and often become vegetarian for this month. They also gift even more prayers to the world than normal.

 

When asked if he gives gift to the poor on Saka Dawa, Wangdu said, “Yes, this is very important. It is called Jinpa, and it is the karmic idea of the importance of generosity. Tibetans give a lot of money, in small amounts, to the poor especially during Saka Dawa because the gift is considered magnified on that date. So if you give $1 on Saka Dawa, the karmic consequence is greater, as if you gave $100 on a normal day.”

 

*Shoton Festival: Translates to yogurt festival. The gift of yogurt (made from yak milk) is gifted to each other. Traditionally, this holiday marked the end of the Tibetans staying indoors for a period of time. They stayed inside because it was an active time for animals and they didn't want to harm them by trampling on them.

 

Though the Tibetans don't stay indoors for weeks anymore, the festival still remains and is full of singing, dancing, operas, yak racing and yogurt eating.

 

*Gifts to Charity: “We give donations to monasteries and nunneries. This can be in the form of food, or envelopes of money. There's another way that we offer small amounts of cash to the monasteries, and that is as an offering on the altars or statues,” said Wangdu.

 

*Souvenirs: Wangdu said, “when someone goes on pilgrimage or to visit a place, they will bring back gifts, little souvenirs, from that place. If you go somewhere for example, where there is a famous stupa, you would bring back a photo of the stupa, or some blessed objects from that stupa area, for your family or friends.” A stupa is a monument built to memorialize the enlightenment achieved by Buddha and sometimes houses ancient Buddhist relics.